Don’t laugh y’all. It’s really true. My husband and I are like a dynamic duo. Our marriage has been through many stages and changes and, boy oh boy, it’s been a ride. So , without further ado, here’s a little ditty about us.
He likes the shade while I like the sun. I like my coffee almost black while he likes a little coffee with his gallons of cream and sugar. He likes to travel by car and I like to fly by air. He likes to sleep in while I like to wake with the birds. He likes to spend money and spending money actually makes me extremely anxious. He doesn’t mind to let the grass grow and I think it has to be mowed the same day every week. He like his dressing with a handful of lettuce and I like a bare salad with dressing on the side.
We are two different people. We have two different minds. We have two different outlooks on situations. We have different likes.
He pushes me to build on dreams. I’ve pushed him to be more than he could have been. Several times I wanted to poke out his eyeballs. Many of times he’s wanted to shove a sock in my mouth. Somehow, we are still walking side-by-side, with all body parts in tack.
One thing is for certain- when my heart breaks, his breaks too. When a joyous moment fills my soul, it fills his soul. When I stress, he gets all frazzled right along in the mess. He leans on me and I lean on him. We don’t always level each other out. And that’s ok. Most of the time. 😉
He knows my smiles. He can distinguish between my laughs. He understands my facial expressions. He knows what my silence means. And he’s felt the wrath of each side of my personality. But yet, he still completely accepts me as his wife- every single day as the sun rises and still when the sun set- I’m his wife and he loves that.
For that, I’m internally, immensely grateful. I could never begin to explain, only stand beside him through every path and every walk of life.
He’ll always protect my heart. He’ll always carry his family. He’ll walk to the ends of the earth to make sure his family has their needs met. Despite the challenges we’ve faced, no matter the hurt that came between us, we came out still together.
With that being said…
Here are 5 things we’ve come to realize that are extremely important to keep our marriage healthy.
- He hears “I love you” as he should but he should also feel it. And vice versa. My husband works a crazy schedule. Out a week, home a week. More or less. Whether he’s home or away, our routine at home continues. School, routines, errands, plans… it all goes on. So, making him his favorite meal, sitting my phone down to give him my undivided attention, letting him sleep in, or put off a chore to sit beside him on the couch. It really is about the small things.
- Make time for dates. Day dates, evening dates, overnight dates. Time together alone, away from the children is VERY important. It can be easy to get so caught up in life that I forget to remember why in the world he is my best friend. Dates don’t have to cost a ton or be all candlelight’s and perfection, it can be as simple as going for ice cream.
- Communicate, concentrate, reciprocate. So, in the past year our life has went absolutely haywire. Remodeling, taking on a surprise child, family issues, change in schedules, finishing up a degree… so much change. There were several times I thought I was going to loose my mind. And I’m pretty sure I may have a little. Even though I had things on my mind, he also had things on his. He’s not the only one who needed work on his listening skills. He deserves my full attention just as I do his. Stop what you’re doing, make eye contact, focus, and pay attention. Hard lesson here, but it’s important!
- Make to-do lists together and set expectations. So there are things that my husband wants me to do and I put off, and put off, and put off. It’s important to him or he wouldn’t ask me to do it. I forget his needs are just as important as mine. Just like me, he forgets too. He forgets where his dirty clothes go, what needs to be done and that he DOES know how to load a dishwasher or start a load of laundry. Learning to respect one another’s wants and expectations are important. By following through with to-do lists, you are able to avoid bickering and nagging.
- I’m not always right. He’s not always right. Give and take. My way isn’t the only way and neither is his. (His toughest lesson to learn. It’s a work in progress.) Work together to figure out what’s best. If it’s a big decision, make time to sit down with undivided attention to discuss it. Marriage is about team work.
“A strong marriage requires two people who choose to love each other even on those days when they struggle to like each other.” ~davewillis.org